Maybe I’m a sensitive flower, but there are a few things that get up my nose when I’m playing Poker, Roulette, Blackjack, Slots or Craps. And for some reason it seems worse in Vegas than anywhere else. Maybe it’s just me? Let’s see if any of the following irritants chime with you?
1. Buying in with $50 bills or £50 notes. Are you trying to impress us? And it’s supposed to be unlucky to have 50’s change hands over a table. So please change to lower denominations before you head out!
2. Making a huge fuss when a craps dice (or dice in any other rolling game) bounces off the table. It happens. Get over it. Some people make a huge fuss, and even go on to another table because they think that luck has deserted the table. Oh come on! It happened to me on a freak bounce while playing craps, and some dude in a Stetson said in a loud whisper “Jeez, you think these Limeys would learn how to throw the dice before they come to Vegas”. Thanks a lot my friend! But having said all that, if someone is throwing the dice stupidly and it happens more than a couple of times in 5 throws, I will get irritated too!!
3. People who constantly call out the number thrown on dice, or cards turned up, or winning hands. We can all see, and the dealer, croupier or whoever will clearly say the number or card where required.
4. People who stand at a table and watch players for a long time. I don’t have a problem with folks who want to watch a dice game or a blackjack game for a few minutes, but don’t stand there for 10 minutes or more, especially if there are just one or two players at the game. If you want to play, play. If not, take a hike. I know that some blackjack players like to count the cards at tables that allow mid-shuffle entry and that doesn’t really bother me. Prospective craps players who watch for certain rolls, or a certain number of wins before they’ll play, are just silly. And people who watch and comment- if the management doesn’t ask you to move on, I will, with the toe of my boot!
5. Dice rollers who have a great long ritual preparation before rolling. Like rubbing the felt, shaking behind their head, or repeatedly blowing on them. Hey that could spread diseases! Pick, shake and roll, and be quick about it!
6. Men or women with particularly strong and noxious after-shave, cologne or perfume. I like to have all my sense in tact while playing, and having you olfactory one distracted or dismembered because someone’s found a stale bottle of Old Spice, Hai Karate or Essence of Llama, is irritating beyond belief!
7. People who can’t believe their luck, either good or bad, and tell everyone about it. Really? Wow? Aren’t you just the luckiest/unluckiest player in the room? Now shut the flip up and play. Silence is golden.
8. Video poker players who jump from machine to machine, especially when the machines all offer the same games and denominations. And especially when they sit right next to me when there are plenty of open machines. Especially when they’ve got the problem identified in 6 and 7 above! Clear off!
9. Players who make last minute bets. Please, get into a better rhythm. It slows things down. I want to win or lose relatively quickly!
10. Finally, dealers, croupiers or management staff who stare at players, particularly attractive women, or even at women who walk by the tables. And worse if they murmur comments, whether blatant or in code, about them. It’s rude and unprofessional. I got a dealer changed because he ticked me off by constantly making small talk to an attractive lady at the table, while ignoring me. She was my wife, dumb-ass, take a hike!